China

I have a few links to some other blogs I've been wanting to post for awhile. First there is my friend Jen over at The Road to Ethiopia and Back. She is doing a series of posts on first family contact in adoption. I think she has some good things to say especially since she is on two sides of the adoption triad.

Then there is my newest fav charity, Drawn From Water. This is a new organization devoted to helping the children of a tribe in southwestern Ethiopia. The Karo tribe is bond by superstitions which require parents to kill children who are considered cursed or imperfect for such things as the circumstances of their birth or the order their teeth erupt in. Drawn From Water is working to provide the parents an alternative and to save the lives of these children. They presently have 10 of these children in their care and are looking to expand their orphanage. They need support. Check them out.

And lastly, I wanted to link to an incredible story and a family who is taking on a huge task. This family adopted a 13 year old girl from China giving them 5 children at home. They thought they were done. However when they arrived in China they learned that their new daughter had TWO biological brothers!! They are now on a crazy ride trying to get these two boys adopted as well. Go read their story.

This post is a back post that I actually meant to write last week, but was too busy. Since things are a little slower today, I thought I would write it.

On Wednesday, March 18th, we drove to LuoHe City to visit Katie's first home the SWI. This was a 2.5 hour drive that allowed us to see a bit of the Henan countryside. We saw a lot of greenery. There were many, many green fields of wheat growing. Our guide explained that wheat is the primary grain in Henan and the stable food is noodles from that wheat. We also drove past large vineyards near ZhengZhou and many fruit trees. The peach and pear trees were in bloom but there were others as well. We also saw what appeared to be "tree farms" or at least many rows of orderly trees. Actually, orderly would be the best description of the countryside in general. I had to look hard to see even one randomly growing plant! It was really very beautiful.

The people who farm this land live in little villages of 25 to a few hundred houses with the farmland surrounding them. These villages looked a lot like the village we saw near Beijing. The houses are all oriented the same direction. There would be one large building and 1-2 smaller buildings on the edges of a walled-in courtyard. There would also almost always be a large red gate/door that opened into the courtyard. The traditional style large building was usually taller then the buildings in Beijing, either 1.5 or 2 stories. There were also many "modern" style buildings with two stories. The most consistent thing about the villages was the construction everywhere! It seemed every home had some construction going on and if not, it was needed.

We also saw a lot of grave sites as we were driving. In Henan the graves are either next to the village or more commonly in the center of the family's fields. The graves have huge heaps of dirt on top and some are marked with a large stone tablet. Many graves also have an evergreen tree (or two) growing from the edge of them.

Here are some pictures of what we saw; they're not the best pictures since they were from a moving car!

Today after we got the all clear that our visa appointment went well, we headed out to enjoy a wonderful part of Chinese culture! The Chinese are very good at enjoying and using their public spaces together. It is something Americans could really learn from in my opinion. In the morning, the parks are full of people playing and exercising together. Huge groups play a form of hacky sack at all different skill levels from Grandmas to young men/boys. Women and couples dance all over. Music everywhere from groups playing instruments to larges groups singing. It's just really cool to watch it all.
It was a bit cooler today and the haze was decreased by the rain in the night so we had great views of the river and city. Overall a good day to be out and about!

What do these two things have in common? Nothing besides they outline my day. We started the morning late since Katie and I didn't sleep too well. We got breakfast and were on time for our first group tour here in GZ. We went to the Six Banyan pagoda and temple where some families had a Buddhist blessing done (NO, I did NOT have my child "blessed".) By the way, I could feel the spiritual darkness... not the worst I've felt, but it was there.

After the temple, we visited the Guangdong folk arts museum. We also did a little shopping at a big store. On the way there we were pulled over by the traffic police (who aren't real police) and had to sit 15 minutes while they checked our driver! We got back to the hotel in time for a late lunch and nap. After nap, Katie and I checked out the hotel and grounds, and then it was time for visa photos, supper, and MORE shopping! I spent money today! :)

Ok, this is a post I meant to write on Tuesday after we went shopping at the Lotus center (large superstore) here in ZhengZhou. I'll do it now while I have a minute. :)

So on Tuesday, after making the adoptions all official, our wonderful guides loaded us up and took us to the Lotus center. This was part shopping trip, part cultural outing.  Let me take a moment here to talk about shopping. Those of you packing at home right now, let me repeat what you have already heard. YOU CAN BUY ANYTHING YOU NEED IN CHINA!!  PACK LIGHTER!!! Seriously. Pack only the minimal clothing you need and a few supplies to get you through the first 48 hours. You can buy it all here. For those coming to ZhengZhou, Henan, especially using CCAI, know that the street behind your hotel (Crowne Plaza) is full of little shops that sell everything. You can very easily get there on Sunday evening before you get your child on Monday. (Otherwise, they will get you formula on Monday afternoon and take you to the Lotus center on Tuesday afternoon.)

When I say everything, I mean everything. I saw diapers, formula, baby wipes (FYI, Chinese baby wipes are not as high quality. Bring one pack and save them for nasty stuff!), diaper rash cream, Johnson & Johnson baby care items, Tide detergent, sippy cups, baby bottles, pacifiers, thermos (for hot bottles), toys, clothes, diet coke, TONS of snacks many recognizable, snickers bars, and the list goes on! This was JUST the little shops down the street! At the Lotus center there was even more. I will say the clothes at the Lotus didn't impress me. There was almost nothing that fit Katie (12 months/18 months) that was not split pants. Plan accordingly.

Now the cultural part. First, let me be very clear. For the most part the Chinese people have been wonderful! Many go out of their way to be helpful even if that doesn't feel "helpful" to us like pointing out that we are freezing our babies and they will get sick! :) Some have very sweetly thanked us for adopting our children and loving them. But that isn't the only reaction and the second reaction reminds us clearly WHY we are even able to adopt these sweet babies.  As some of you may know, the Chinese culture is a direct one in the sense that staring, pointing, and taking photos of complete strangers is not considered rude. I know this. I know that many here in ZhengZhou have barely seen a Caucasian let alone one carrying a Chinese child! Then take that times 13! What a sight we are! I don't mind their stares. I barely notice. Maybe because I've been part of a transracial family for 3.5 years or maybe because I spent 21 years sticking out of a crowd like a sore thumb.

What has surprised me is my response to the negative interactions. It is hard for me to ignore these and blow them off as Chinese culture. Let me give you an example of what I am talking about. While waiting for the bus at the Lotus center, a travel mate and I were standing and talking while holding our daughters. Both our sweet children are cleft-affected. Her little one is young and does not yet have her lip repaired. We quickly draw a crowd, but some are pointing at our children's lips and laughing. Some touch other sweet babies in our group and then see their special need and pull away in disgust. It makes me angry... angry for my child and sad... but it does shows me what she would face here if she stayed. 

I don't write this to made the Chinese culture/people look bad. I write it so others will not be shocked at the experience or the emotions they feel in response.

"Anyone feel a breeze or is it just me?" (Love those split bottom pants! LOL)

So today's outing was to the ZhengZhou zoo! I would personally have preferred visiting some place that actually represents Henan like the museum or the Yellow river but this is what the group wanted. The zoo was actually nicer then I expected for China, but some of the animals had it pretty rough. Then again a number had nicer living conditions then my daughter had so there ya go. Katie fell asleep in the sling after about 30 minutes so I'm not sure she saw too much. I think it was stimulus overload again! Poor baby.

Katie continues to do well and progress in attachment. This, of course, does not mean that all that progression is rosy. We had a 30 minute crying fit today, but that's progress just as surely as more talking and smiles are! We leave for Guangzhou tomorrow! Woohooo! :)

Why do we not hear of hundreds of electrocutions in China everyday? Seriously, I don't know how they aviod it!

Seriously, I am the luckiest woman on the face of this earth! I have been give the three most wonderful children ever born to love and raise. Okay, so I'm a little bias, but I still feel rather unworthy when I consider it all! :)

Katie is about the cutest thing EVER! She is going to give her big brother and sister a run for their money and that's say a lot since they are both trophy winning members of the Cutie Club! So let me give you a run down of Katie Day!

We left the hotel at 8:50 sharp and walked about 10 minutes to the Henan office of Adoption Affairs. As we neared the door we could hear the babies crying. As family's walked in their babies were just handed to them. We realized very quickly that Katie was not there, and we were told the two LuoHe babies were running late. This was actually kind of nice because it gave us time to watch everyone else and we were also able to film Katie coming down the hall and someone else filmed for Brian during the actual hand off!  Just like her big sister, Katie didn't cry as she was handed to me. She was a bit anxious, but she has a brave little heart and the only outward sign was that she clung to me finger with her whole hand.  After we filled out the paperwork needed at that time, I put her in the Mei Ti and off we went. She settled in nicely and even gave her daddy a little smile for his silliness. (I think that makes 3 for 3, on Daddy getting the first smile!) Went we got her back to the room, I got her out of the three layers of clothes and the split bottom pants (at least she had a diaper on!)  She loved her stacking cups!! They were a major hit as were the fruit puff snacks.

A bit about her development and personality.  She has great fine motor skills, and can pick up very small items and transfer hand to hand. Gross motor is a bit behind. Her body feels like a much younger child, but in just 24 hours she is sitting better, crawling more, and pulling to stand (boy is she proud of herself for doing that!!)  She is trying to talk and I really think someone taught her "hi" and "bye". She is starting to realize that "Katie" is her and that "more" means more food is coming. :) She has laughed for us and will smile easily now.

Well, I had written almost twice this much about Katie's personality but some how I lost it and well... I'm way to tried and sick to re-write it so I'll post what I have. Maybe I will get back to it later.  Here is a picture until then.

For all village photos go here:

Step 1.) Travel to developing nation with substandard medical care to adopt child.

Step 2.) Two days before taking custody of said child find a large gap in Great Wall walk way over 15 foot archway

Step 3.) Jump over said gap

Yes, he really did this too me folks!!  (jumped, that is, not fell)

For all more Great Wall go here.

We started out early again, but ditched our travel group for the day even though we like them! :)  Grandpa George and our dear friends Nathan and Portia along with their children E, A, and I took the night train to Beijing to come see us!! They arrived at the hotel at 8:30 AM with a driver to take us around. I can't tell you how good it was to see them!

We headed out to see the Great Wall which was about an hour away. We went to a part of the wall that is not as touristy as the section slightly closer to Beijing.  We rode a cable car up the mountain to get to the wall which in and of it's self was fun. We then walked along the wall going through three guard towers... might have done more but the little girls were tired and ready for lunch. I kept thinking, "I can't believe I'm standing on the Great Wall!!" On the walk back, Nathan and Portia helped us get some great deals on some items.

We then drove back toward Beijing stopping at a small restaurant for lunch. We walked in past a rather inebriated group of Chinese men. Nathan ordered for us. Good thing he can speak Mandarin, because I really don't think anyone there knew English! :) The food was wonderful! I liked everything and even Brian found a number of dishes to enjoy. The hardest part was using chopsticks, there was no other option! The other fun thing was eat right off the serving plates instead of using spoons to serve the food on to individual plates first. Overall a great lunch, and an even better cultural experience!

From there we drove over two hours to the south side of Beijing (actually out in to the country but they still call it Beijing).  This is where New Day Foster Home is located. A friend of Nathan and Portia's gave us a tour, and it was wonderful to see it in person after following the blog for almost four years. We also visited the little gift shop there and spent way too much money! LOL

Nathan then took us for a walk through the village, home to 10,000 people (yes, still a village in China). What an experience. It was obvious we were seeing the real China, not some glossy, carefully presented version, but the real country as experienced by many of China's 1.4 billion people. This particular village relies heavily on agriculture and that was evident in many parts of it. After this tour, we finished off the evening at a local restaurant before driving back to our hotel in Beijing. What a great day!! :)

Got to see a squatty potty today... not too bad huh?

Then we got to see what they can really look like.....

More photos here.

More photos from Day One here.

We had a huge day today touring Beijing. We started early this morning with breakfast at our hotel and met up with our travel group at 8:30 sharp. There are 12 families in the group, and they are a great bunch.

First we drove about 10 minutes to Tiananmen Square where we got out into the biting cold wind and begin to walk. (A number of us were nowhere near prepared for how cold it was!! I was and even so, about froze my legs off!)  We could only walk past the square as there was a special meeting in the Great Hall of the People so we were not allowed to walk in the actual square.  We then entered the Forbidden City passing under the large photo of Mao. The Forbidden City and Imperial Palace were huge. We walked all the way through and even stopped a few places at little museums. I found the buildings there to be stunning with a lot of beautiful detail work. 

After leaving there we went for a traditional Chinese lunch which was quite good right down to the young lady who did a traditional dance for us.  Then it was on to the silk factory demonstration. Too bad the silk dresses where too expensive to get a child and too small for me!! They sure were pretty! :)  We then drove to an older district in Beijing known as the Hutong neighborhoods. There we toured the neighborhood via rickshaws because of the very narrow road ways that are more like small alleys. We were even invited in to one of the homes there and were able to talk with the resident. It was interesting to hear her rather negative take on the cultural revolution.

After this, it on to a pottery demonstration museum. Talk about beautiful stuff!! After that we were given a short break for supper on our own; then it was off again. This time we went to see an acrobatics show. Brian was so tired he was falling asleep, but it was a very beautiful and interesting show! All in all a very exciting and packed day!! I'll try to post some pictures as soon as I can.. having a little trouble here with that

I've written before about Amanda who runs the Starfish Foster Home for orphan children in China. Well, Amanda needs our help. She has been ask to take in a group of cleft affected babies who have no where to go as the orphanage is overflowing. Amanda had hoped to start a Cleft House for such babies some time in the future when she had the funds, but now there is the need so she is stepping out in faith that the funds will come. She had taken in 9 beautiful little ones. You can see their pictures here, here, and here on her blog. Amanda needs 80 people to commit to donate $25 a month for a year to care for these 9 precious little ones. If more money comes in she will take more children. You can read all about it here.

As most of you know from reading this blog, our Katie is cleft affected. Children born with cleft lip and palate often struggle to suck and are very difficult to feed. In orphanages, there are often not enough caregivers to take the time that is needed to feed these children as much food as they need. To make things worse, the special bottles that help make feeding cleft affected infants easier are not available in China! I have read that something like 90% of cleft affected children in China do not survive infancy, primarily for lack of the time and special tools to feed them properly. How awful!  Please, consider supporting Starfish as they make a difference for one more little cleft affected baby!

The follow letter from Amy Eldridge, founder of Love Without Boundaries, has been posted on a number of forums and lists that I visit. It is a real tear jerker... I think I'll let it speak for it's self.